


Miscreants

by annabeth_at_the_helm



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: 1950s, Gen, Korean War, Whining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24232165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth_at_the_helm/pseuds/annabeth_at_the_helm
Summary: "Butwhydo those two miscreants get to go on R&Ragain?"
Relationships: "Trapper" John McIntyre & Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, Henry Blake & Frank Burns, Henry Blake & Radar O'Reilly
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Miscreants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shadesofhades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofhades/gifts).



> Written for "whine" on my Get Your Words Out Yahtzee prompt set #4.

"But _why_ do those two miscreants get to go on R&R _again_? And together? You know they're just going to hit on the geishas and trash their hotel rooms and _drink_ ," Frank said in a nasally voice. He frowned, and Hawkeye had to stifle a giggle because Frank often tried to pout, but with no lips to speak of, it never really worked for him.

"What does Margaret see in you?" Hawkeye asked, hoisting himself up on Henry's desk and crossing his legs at the ankles.

"Pierce, get off my desk," Henry attempted, but Hawkeye just grinned unrepentantly and stayed where he was.

"You see, Colonel?" Frank said, peevishly. "They pick on me, like the time they glued my nose hair!"

"You pick your nose," Hawkeye said mildly. "We were only trying to help!"

"I do _not_!" Frank protested.

"Frank, simmer down," Henry said tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. "I can't deal with this right now. Pierce and McIntyre just finished three days in the OR with almost no sleep. I seem to recall you complaining of a sniffle and taking to your tent for that entire time. They had to cover for you, Frank. You should be grateful."

"He has no idea how to be grateful," Hawkeye said, shooting a grin at Frank, who scowled.

"But they _misbehave_ , Colonel!" Frank cried in a high-pitched tone. "They give the 4077th a bad name!"

"Frank…" Henry said, even as Radar pushed through the swinging doors to Henry's office.

"Here are the R&R forms, sir," he said, even as Henry was raising his voice to call into the outer office, "Radar! The Tokyo R&R forms for Pierce and McIntyre!"

Henry rubbed his forehead. " _Don't_ give me what I want before I want it!" he said, even as Frank broke in with,

"Henryyyy, they're _laughing_ at me!"

Trapper, who was lounging in a chair, blinked open hazel eyes and said, around a yawn,

"I ain't laughin'." He paused. "Yet." He pinned Frank with a piercing look. "Your whining is pathetic, Frank. It ain't even worth laughin' at."

" _Colonel!_ " Frank said.

Hawkeye leaned back on his elbows and glanced over his shoulder at Henry, who was still rubbing his face, apparently done with Frank's complaints.

"Trap, you're not laughing because you've been sleeping through this whole exchange," Hawkeye pointed out. Trapper stretched his arms above his head.

"I ain't sleepin', Hawk. I'm imaginin' Nurse Baker in her underwear."

"That's another thing! They canoodle in the supply tent with nurses, Colonel, and then they spy on m—on Margaret in the showers! It's disrespectful! They don't deserve rewards." He crossed his arms across his chest and attempted to pout.

"I'm sending them to Tokyo, Frank, and that's the end of it. Deal with it."

"It's not fair," Frank said, sniveling even as Henry shooed him from his office.

"C'mon, Trap," Hawkeye said. "Let's go pack."

Henry stopped them. "He's right, you know. You are both miscreants."


End file.
